What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

Autism... is not funny at all, it is a serious issue in today's day and age and must be addressed and cured

Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

Men

Why are roses red ? Ass in my face .

Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

Roses are red violets are blue this poem makes no sense refrigerator.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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