What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

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What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is difference the other is between.

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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So a man walks into a bar. Well, he trips over it because it was very low to the ground and he didn't see it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

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What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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What do you call a blonde with great maths skills? A smart person with blonde hair.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

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What do you get when you cross an African, a white person, an Asian and a Spaniard? Society's worst nightmare

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Whats worse than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork

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retard

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

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what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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So a seal walks into a club.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the hispanic buy a pepsi? Because he was thirsty.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops