A guy walks into a bra. The woman screams and calls 991.

Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

69

What's the difference between your mother and a prostitute? Nothing.

Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

* Are you afraid of dinosaurs? * No, they're all dead.

what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

Roses are red violets are blue this poem makes no sense refrigerator.

Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

We found a cure for cancer. Death

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Beware of orange frogs with black stripes! They are dangerous! On the other hand, if you see a black frog with orange stripes, you're in no danger.

Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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