How long does it take a blonde to skrew in a light bulb? Any amount of time; given that she knows that said bulb is in need of replace meant, or that said blonde is disabled, or if you thought I would make some kind of funny blonde joke that you would tell your friend and then forget ten minutes later, only to think of it a day later and claim it as your own.

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A woman was strolling around town when she turned into a dark alley. She was cold and scared. Suddenly a ferocious looking man jumped out with a knife. The end.

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What do you call 1 + 1 = 2? i like boobs

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk! Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why did the black man kill his girlfriend? Because it was his mom!

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roses are red violets are blue I hear a bus...

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Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get away from a gigantic tiger slowly stalking him

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How many dead body can you hide in a hole? 100. Forget the fat guy

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Sometimes i'm hungry.

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Roses are red my name is dave this poem makes no bloody sense microwave

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Robin, Get in the Car

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because he was a loaf of bread

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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mark lawson likes boys

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What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

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What did the boy with no srms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

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Without geometry life would be pointless

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Why do you put babies in the blender feet first? To hear them scream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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