Your d is so small that when you had a boner and walked into the wall....... YOU BROKE YOUR NOSE! Millimeter Monster bro

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roses are red, violets are blue, your boyfriends thinks i'm hot that's why he dumped you

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

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I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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Whats the difference between Obama and Hitler? One is the President of the United States The other is a fascist dictator that killed millions.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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Steve jumps through a window...he forgot he was on the 231st floor...He dies

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what do poor black guy and poor white guy have in common..................................................... their poor

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Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

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A little boy walks up to his father and asks him a question, "Daddy, how are babies born?" His father then replies in an enthusiastic manner, "You see, I stuck my dick in your mom's vag and started pounding. Apparently two condoms defeat the purpose."

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

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A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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