So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the white man say to the black man? Hi i'm Steve, it's nice to meet you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

yo momma is so fat that she got diabetes and lost her legs

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are violet. The man who wrote this, Was high as shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +5

23

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats hairy and fat? I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME RETARD

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Her tits are so big that they would provide adequate nourishment for any future offspring.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Do you know how to forget? No. Me either, I forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If Jonny has 300 pies and eats 299 pies what is left for Jonny? DIABETES

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the difference between chad woldert and justin beiber? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. That always nice, you dont want your dairy products to spoil.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops