Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

knock knock whos there boo boo who why are you sad my wife has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happens when a panther and a gorilla fight? i dont know i never seen it before.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +14

2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than having aids...... Being in school

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is Corey Jacobs favorite kind of sandwich? Big Jumbo Kahona Burger!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why does Sally sell sea shells down by the sea shore? To support her growing crack addiction that is ruining Sally's and Sally's families lives

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? As they can't find any, they are just squirrels, they can not asist little timmy choking on the lightbulb rolling around on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

thumb_up thumb_down +14

One below was by me: Walter H

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't Sally climb up the ladder? Because she was a paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a black man is chasing a white man,, "sir you dropped your wallet'!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where's the soap?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: Why did Frank have a big horse named Bubba? A: He was allergic to cats

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops