"Have you guys ever seen Derrek Ashmores sisters? They are DTF if you know what I mean" - Jesse Ziegenbein

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He--Hey guys

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What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

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Why did the downy jump off a cliff? I told him to.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? (Other): "Because the P is silent." Because they're extinct.

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What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

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Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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What do you call a black man who is great at basketball? An all-star

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Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

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What did the priest say to the little boy? "Reading antijokes in rapid succession takes almost all humor from them."

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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why did the boy die because he got ran over by a tractor

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Why does Timmy Teblow love penis? Logan Cole made him do it.

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Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

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What's up with airplane food? Well I am a big fan of peanuts, so nothing

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What happened to timmy? He had downsyndrome and walked off a cliff

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An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Why don't you ever stick your hand into the bottom of the jelly bean jar? Cuz' the black ones will steal your watch

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How long would it take for a clock to reach 12 It depends on which 12 it is going to land on and which time zone you are in but yet most clocks are not correct so it is very hard to tell

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

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Was that last joke funny? Well this one isn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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