In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We are here to inform you that your daughter has died in a drunk driving accident.

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This is in Spanish when you're not looking.Just kidding, that's not possible. It's actually German.

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Why did Hitler Kill his self Answer- He got a gas bill By Lewis

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How much seamen does a gay guy have??? A whole butt load.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What do you call a lubia chin jew slave?

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What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 BIG black guys? The most common NFL Offence

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roses are red, violets are blue i couldnt spend one night without you

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by a fridge. Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she got hit by a fridge. Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because it had no face.

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are simple-minded creatures and perhaps there was some source of food on the other side.

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what do trees like to drink? r o o t b e a r

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Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

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What did the English man say to the Japanese man? Nothing, they were incapable of conversation because of the language barrier created by the fact that neither had one another's language as a part of their curriculum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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