What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Why did Lucy fall out of the tree? Because she sting by a wasp.

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What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

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Homonyms should be band.

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Sammi suck kyles chode

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A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

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Hitler and Jews become friends.

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Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

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Internet Explorer

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

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Wright flyer

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What's sad about 2 black men driving off a cliff? They were my friends.....

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My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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Q: Why did George Lopez walk into a Taco Bell? A: To purchase a 5-layer Gordita Burrito

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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A white man on his way to happens to sit next to a black man the following conversation involves a democrat and a repuplican arguing about obama's current presidentcy and the wallstreet journal the two do not agree on both sujects and part ways...the white man is later brutally murdered in his own house infront of white and children in an unrelated incident. We should all help to stop violence in our local nieghborhoods.

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all hail based mark

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops