I was gonna smack jakes titties...but michael was already doing it....:/

When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

A bunch of kids are in a treehouse. The treehouse falls out of the tree and kills everyone in the treehouse and the two little girls playing underneath. It was sad.

Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

Bare with me here, im gonna change this up a bit What's better then finding a worm in your apple

What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Noideer! No.Blind What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still Noideer! No, it's basically dead

A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Dave then complied, opened the door and let the police search his house. He was then found innocent of drug related charges.

Person: kk Person1: did you just kk me? Person: no

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? the NBA

one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

Q: What happened to the dead baby? A: It was Buried

jibby jobby

Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

Roses are red violets are blue I am in 301 Club and so are you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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