Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

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How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

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What did the Russian scientist say to the British scientist when he saw two black guys enter a strip club? "Two black guys entered the strip club"

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

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Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

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So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

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Which came first, the chicken , the egg, the chick, the dinosaur, or the fried chicken nuggets?

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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whats black and white with red all over. something that's black and white with red all over.

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what do you call a bear with socks on A bear with socks on

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

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why did spiderman fall off the roof ? cause it was wet

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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INSULT- You've got a photographic memory, but the lens cap is on. INSULT- Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic INSULT- I heard you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. From- Insults and Putdowns lite

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knock knock whos there open the door and find out

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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