What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

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Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What did Santa call the prostitute? Nothing. Santa isn't real.

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-Knock Knock ~Who's there? -It's your mother ~Go away

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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why did the disabled man go to the shops? because he wanted a radiator panel

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

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WEED!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A obese woman, a anorexic woman and a average weight woman sit down to eat. They all have a good time.

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i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

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A man walks into a bar, and says ouch.

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Q: whats the differences between a bra and the canucks?? A: a bra has two cups

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Rigo your a stupid ass

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There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

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Where was I born? Pakistan. You?

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

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Here's a joke, a black man walks into a store and buys something. that's it.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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What do you call a bloody Jewish guy nailed to a piece of wood. Jesus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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