Two people are walking down the street, unaware of the highly polluted environment and that they could save a life.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A cripple

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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How do you hold someone in suspense?

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What's the square root of everything. F**K LOGIC

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roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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Why is lewis rank gay Coz he is

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so three men walk into a bar and one is a priest.

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Your friend is so gay that he isn't attracted to hot women

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Man: get back in the kitchen! Women: no Man: ok

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Yo mama's has so much acne, I decided to give her proactive.

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What's red and curly and goes 100km an hour? Palfi in a blender

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"My c.ock is bigger!" "No! My c.ock is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger dick.

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What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

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tee hee

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Thumbs this up

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

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John has 32 candy bars, he eats 28..what does he have now? Diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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