Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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Dylan is gay

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

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The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Anal

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Hey could I ask you a question? Yes Thanks

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Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

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ati jokes are not to be funny. what about u

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What's worse than stepping on a snail? Stepping on a bear trap.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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I went to the zoo the other day there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. By Nathan Luque CARROTS!!!

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What's white and hides in a tree. A refrigerator.

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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Why are rich guys gay? They can afford to be

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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whats dead and gone your nanas cat

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What did one homo say to the other? Well, the politically correct term is homosexual, and he didn't say anything because they've never met.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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