What did the avocado say to the person? I can't talk

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Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

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Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

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Whats the thing you least expect to find on Anti-Joke? A joke with a punchline.

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Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE!

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Q: Why didn't the little boy get his bike for christmas? A: He died from cancer

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

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So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

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A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

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What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Why do African-American people like fried chicken and watermelon? Because they are delicious food items.

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Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

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What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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a woman leaves the kitchen.......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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