det va en tjej som va inne på ica och handlade, framme vid kassan la hon fram en banan, en billys pizza, ett litet paket bröd och en mjölk. -är du singel eller? frågar killen i kassan -ja hur visste du det, svarar hon -du e skitful ju

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How many beavers can you fit in one paddling pool? None; it's probably very dangerous trying

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first Monkey. Why did the third Monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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I told you it would happen

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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(Put joke here)

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What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

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A Native American walks into a bar. The bartender notes that this is statistically unlikely because Native Americans are part of a small minority in the local area, but is accepting of all people so still serves him a drink.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I'm not creative Roses are Blue

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What did Bear Grylls say to the dead whale? Mmmm.

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Hey, you pee here? Yes, it's called a urinal

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you wanna hear a funny joke? so do I

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Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

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3 thieves are also murderers and naked at the moment.

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How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

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What's the best joke in the world? This one.

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What Do You Call Black People Skydiving? A fun time.

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Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

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why did the man drop his razor? he had a seizure.

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What's funny about the holocaust? Nothing. Whoever thinks the holocaust is funny is a dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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