- Anti Joke

Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

What is the best place to get watermelons and fried chicken? A Watermelon grove and a popeyes and/or KFC

What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

What did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

Who lost World War II? The Jews.

What is brown and sticky? A stick

what was the biggest game of hide and seek? World War II and the Jews won

Wha'ts the funniest joke in the world? Written.

What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

why do i have a pain in my left side i dont know but im scared

What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

My life :(

If an illegal immigrant fought a child molester, is it Alien vs. Predator?

Two blondes get in a taxi. Who's driving? The taxi driver.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

No.

(Guy)That's what she said. (His Girlfriend) And who is this she.

Sticks and stones can break my bones And words can make me lonely

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

Five men walk into a bar. The bartender says, more taste or less? None of them care.

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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