A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

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what is blue and fluffy, a blue fluff. what is red and fluffy, a polar bear wiped in red paint. you probably should not have done that because now the polar bear is chasing after you.

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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What happens to a warehouse on a full moon? Nothing

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The Mexican word of the day is JUICY. Tell me if juicy see the cops.

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You know what is better than winning a race in the Special Olympics? Winning two races.

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We are lawyers

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Two guys go hunting and one of them aims the sniper at the other guy's house and says "I see your wife's cheating on you again with another man" he replies "I've had it with her, shoot him in the privates and shoot her in the mouth" the friend says "I'll get that in one shot".

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Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

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A christian, a Jew, and a muslim walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have a good night because no one knows they are all of different religions.

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Why does Spongebob go to work? Because he's ready.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody actually knows this because the chicken could not tell us why he/she crossed the road so it would be nearly impossible to get the answer.

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What is worse than 20 black men stealing your TV? Having your family die in tragic car accident.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

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Why did the Afircan child die? He had AIDS.

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What Happened to the man with no arms? Nothing, he continued his life with his daily routine of using his feet to accomplish his goals that day.

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? It was moldy and it was a home of many roaches.

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Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

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Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops