Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What is the differenc between a Jew and a boy scout? A: The boy scout comes back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

hey

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a homicidal maniac.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the sign say at Disney World? Disney World.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call 5 of my friends and 5 of your friends hanging out together? I don't know. I don't have any friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A muslim gets on a plane. He is then flown to his destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex afender

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What was so special about Anne Frank's diary? Nothing. ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the Nazi shoot the Jew in the head? Because he was a Jew. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man throw the woman off the cliffe? Tequilla.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops