One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

thumb_up thumb_down

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down

do not read this(this is intended to be read)

thumb_up thumb_down

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the little girl fall off the swing. she had no arms so I pushed her off

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how many jews can you fit in a volkenswagen? 2 jews in the front 2 jews in the back 15 jews in the ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What has 1 eye and half of a pig's snout? A: A pig peeking around a corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks up to a horse and asks, "why the long face?" The horse stares back at him, blankly. The man then sits and ponders his life, sad that he now tries to communicate with horses and realizes that his eccentricity is probably the reason his marriage failed.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken die? He tried to cross a road by an alleyway, therefore getting hit by a double decker bus and the alleyway has nothing to do with it. Also, the chicken had one leg and was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was Suzy Knock Knock Who's There The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man walk into the bar? Because he wasn't looking where he was going

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is the little boy so smart? He tries in school and hes asian

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops