What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana. Go away.

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Yo mamas so stupid that she received slightly below average in her latest maths test

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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What do you call a black priest? Father

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47

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Whats funnier than a Dead Baby in a bathtub? Nothing Thats as good as it gets!

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what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

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What did the cat say when you rub it's stomach? Nothing because felines don't have the needed vocal organs to speak, and probaly wouldn't know english do to the size of there brain.

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was mad at it wife.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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(-(-(-(--)-)-)-) Look the chinese mafia

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What do you call two dead blondes? A terrible day for their families and for many more to come

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what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

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why did the chicken cross the road cause he was suicidal but a car just didnt happen to hit him.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? Well its wing were clipped so it couldnt fly across the road.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops