what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black man and a white woman walk out of a mall restroom holding hands and sweating. The white woman is arrested on the spot for statutory rape and sent to prison for 10 years. The black man was barely 16 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what is 6 + 8 a math equation

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you starve a celebrity? Tell them they're fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

thumb_up thumb_down +10

pineapples

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Wade

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

69

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is cheese yellow? Answer: I don't know, I was hoping that you would know.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why could the boy use the computer there was nothing wrong with him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a cake and Jews? A cake comes out of the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't Jenna play double dutch? Because she had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops