What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

A guy walks into a bar and says "hey can I get a strong drink" and the bartender says "no we don't allow blacks in this bar" and he was then pushed to the ground and thrown out.

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an abosolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

8====D~~~~~~

What is the biggest lie in the universe? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Spanish Inquisition.

The other day, I broke my snare drum.... I still haven't fixed it and am planning on doing so soon.

123 Main street

what did the black person say to the midget my dicks bigger than u

What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

What's the difference between a cow and a fat person. Nothing

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

What did the dog say to the mailman? nothing, dogs lack the mental capacity for human speech therefore he was unable to communicate his message verbally

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

if u like this i wont pay you a dollar

whats white, blue, and red all over? a white guy in the ghetto

What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

what's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings what's worse than 2 bee stings? the Holocaust. what's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings

Why does the Anti-Joke site suck? Because it's not funny.

what's the worst thing ever? reality TV shows and singing contest shows

What did the girl with no hands get? Gloves.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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