What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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