Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Want to hear the World's shortest joke? Peace. [L]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops