What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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I have a really funny joke.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Women's Rights

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A house comes around the corner.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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