But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

Faithful men.

Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...