Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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Q: What is black and can't support a family? A: A bowling ball

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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hello what is this crazy nonsense site sl

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

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What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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What's scarier than a ghost? Ur mum.

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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Roses are car Violets are giraffe this poem makes no sense microwave

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

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A black guy walks out of a house with a t.v. He proceeds to put it into a moving van and moves into his new house.

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ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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