A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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Knock knock. Who's there? FedEx. FedEx who? Just kidding, it's hookers.

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino. It just isn't relephant.

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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