What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

A knock knock B who's there A nobody

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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