A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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