If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

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So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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What did the worm say to the butterfly? Nothing, worms don't talk.

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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