Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Whats worse than one dead Baby in ten trash cans Getting raped by kobe

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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