What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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One afternoon, a man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my youngest son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my second son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my oldest son is gay." the man replies. "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?." the bartender asks. The man thinks about it. "Yeah, my wife."

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops