Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

96

Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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