A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops