Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

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Roses are red Violets are blue classic

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How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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