What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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did you hear about the mexican that went to college? yes

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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So a bar walks into a man...

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

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T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

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What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops