A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

rarw

Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

tim tebow and mark sanchez will lead the jets to the superbowl

why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...