Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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