So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

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why did the man paint his house? cause he never wanted to mow the lawn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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Q. What is Black, White, and Red all over?? A. A girl just having sex and her Cherry broke all over your dick..

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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Any similarity between Jesse and a human is purely coincidental!

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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Knock Knock Who's there

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what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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