A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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Good job, son.

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops