Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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AARgh my name is AWsaing the nawant of the where of amzai Giant rabbit bunny

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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