roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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