Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops