Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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