What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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guess what>? your mum lol

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

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What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops