Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

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Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

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ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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Santa isn't real

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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