pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

your so fat. your fat!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

were you expecting a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -37

so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Roses are red, Violets are violet They are not blue You stupid twat

thumb_up thumb_down -37

question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

thumb_up thumb_down -37

why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

thumb_up thumb_down -37

An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's big and messy? A big mess

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops