What do an elephant, and a banana have in common? Neither one is an ambulance.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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:y do people talk? ;idk :oh then nevermind

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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whats something you really wanna call a black person it starts with an "N" and ends in an "R" A. Friend i was joking about the "N" and "R"

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

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Yo mamas so fat,you know wht, i think she might die !!

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Knock Knock! But nobody was home and couldn't hear it.

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Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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