Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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