What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

Who wants water? I do.

What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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