Knock Knock Who's There? Dave Dave, who? Jerry, just let me in already Two months later, Dave was convicted on charges of home invasion and the murder of Jerry Jones without bail.

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> Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? > Because he had severe autism and was Ambulophobic.

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

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Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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The cream, it is coming

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops