roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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what is brown and sticky? a stick.

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A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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Why are New Yorkers hated on so much? Becuase the Yankees suck ass.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops