A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

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A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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what is brown and sticky? a stick.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

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why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

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Dwight Howard

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a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

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Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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If the 49ers won the superbowl

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

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Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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