roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. ;)

Whats brown a sticky, shit

Roses are red Violets are blue classic

A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

What happened when the white man went to Nigiria? He turned gray.

You were born.

Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

A black man goes to his dentist appointment and the doctor asks, have you brushed your teeth today laderius? the black man replies: Yes, but my name is not laderius

Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

What is black and hanging from the tree in my back yard? A tire Swing.

Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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