Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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A blind man walks into a library.

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Justin's life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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